Second Acts

March 21, 2005

Volume 1, Number 1 (premier Issue)

Text Box: “Second Acts will be a great resource to find tools and hear the experiences of other women who have or had similar challenges.”

 

Welcome to a New Beginning

This Issue ...

 

 

 

 

Text Box: “It is up to you to begin to seize the day”.

 

 

 

Welcome to the Premier Issue of Second Acts
By Michele Alexander Owner of 4 The Perfect Fit Coaching and Consulting

Welcome to the premiere issue of Second Acts.  This newsletter is dedicated to supporting single career women over 35 in their quest to create the life they desire and achieve personal fulfillment.  Whether you are in a midlife transition, reached a personal milestone or just feel stuck, Second Acts and I, seek to give you a voice.  Second Acts will be a great resource to find tools and hear the experiences of other women who have or had similar challenges.  This newsletter wants to help you focus on rediscovering and honoring self to realize your dreams and begin living your life out loud.

Start Living Your Best Life – Write a Personal Mission Statement

By Michele Alexander

Text Box:  Many single career women wakeup to discover the life they are living seems great to others and even themselves at times; but they, do not feel satisfied.  What happened?  Why is it, the life they created, doesn’t fit them anymore?  Many of us created the vision of the life we have from dreams desired in childhood, or when we were teens.  Sometimes that vision may be enough to carry us a lifetime.  However, when its not, we may ask ourselves, “What changed?”  Well as Henry David Thoreau said, “ Things do not change; we change.”

How do we get back on track?  Write personal mission statement.  Why?  A personal mission statement speaks to the person who wrote it and how they want to live their life.  Because of this, they own it.  A personal mission statement is a great way to clarify values, initiate and prioritize goals and create a roadmap to keep us focused on the journey of putting together and living our best life.   When you are at a crossroad this statement will be an important tool to jumpstart the writing of your personal second act. 

How do I write a mission statement?  Here are six (6) steps to help you.. 

  1. Write down your accomplishments.  Jot down 3 or 4 things that you are really proud that you have achieved in your life personally, professionally and/or spiritually.  There are no boundaries when writing this list.  Now reflect on them.  Why are they were so important to you?  Honor them and acknowledge what you have done.  If possible, share one with a friend.  You might be surprise by the reaction.  You might find a supporter in your journey.

  2. Journal your contributions to your community.  What you have done and hope to do.  Prioritize them.  Think about what these offerings meant and mean to you personally.

  3. Inventory your core values.  This is a laundry list of standards and ideals that are most important to you.  Try to also prioritize them and focus on the top 3 if possible.  Go back to item 2 if you feel stuck here.

  4. Document your personal and professional goals.  Identify short-term goals, within the year, and long term goals, longer than a year and up to 5 years from now.  Make sure these are your goals not suggestions of what others think you should do.  Other people’s ideas could be your ambition; but make sure they are your desire.  Try to include both personal and professional goals on your list.  After defining goals, prioritize them. 

  5. Now identify what makes you feel good to do or experience on your list.  If something is not included, create an additional list and record these thoughts.  This is a barometer.

  6. Finally, daydream.  Remember when you were a child.  Anything was possible.  Try to think about what you would do if money, skill, family, or education were not boundaries. 

Now you are ready to write your first draft of your mission statement.  It should be simply written and easy to read. Try to write it in one sentence, if possible and make it something easy to recall.  Your mission statement should include:

What you want to do. (Accomplishments and Contributions)

How you want to do it. (Possibly utilizing core values)

Who you want to be or serve (Your Dreams and what makes you feel good.)

How you want to develop

Take your time.  It may take a few attempts to get it right.  You may have to revise it several times.  Also, remember even when its finished, it can always be revised.

Once you are satisfied with your mission statement, write it on an index card and put the in your journal or a book you’re reading.  Make you statement a screensaver on your computer.  You have now become your own inspiration.  This is your first step to motivate yourself in building the life you desire and living your dreams out loud. 

I’d love to see your statement and hear your feedback this article.  Email them to Michele Alexander at coach@4ThePerfectFit.com.

…and remember

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

--Lao Tzu—

Chinese Taoist philosopher, b.600 BC

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Text Box:  Choose To Be Happy...NOW!
By Teri Worten

The older I get, the more I realize that ninety percent of life is about choices. Both the choice to be happy or unhappy is mine. Sure, unforeseeable circumstances come and rattle our cages from time to time but it’s our decision how we choose to cope with them. We can resolve to allow the situations to defeat us or we can simply count it all joy.

Text Box: “… become your own inspiration” Counting it all joy is not basically grinning through a rough circumstance. It’s much more. When we count it all joy, we recognize and seek God’s hand in the quandary. We accept that whatever happens in our lives that God is somehow working it out for our good. We remember folks like Joseph who went through insurmountable obstacles only to be immensely, deliriously blessed. This perspective brings joy unspeakable!

Let’s be frank. Happiness is not always going to "find" you. Therefore, you’ve got to passionately, intentionally, seek, chase and pursue it on your own. As you well know, there will always be people, systems and personalities trying to rob you of your joy and purpose. But once you find your joy, it's up to you not to let it elude you.

 

4 The Perfect Fit Coaching & Consulting

New York, NY 10128

Phone:
(212) 987-6177

E-mail
coach@4ThePerfectFit.com

We're on the Web!
www.4ThePerfectFit.com

 

Whether you are recovering from heartbreak or coming to terms with a recent disappointment, resolve to maintain your joy in spite of it all. Don't succumb to the innate urge to fold up into a ball and withdraw from your world. This is not an option for the single mother. Our children need us too much. Instead, embrace your faith and rely on God to comfort you and bring peace while He restores your emotional equilibrium. Discover fresh interests by trying new things, meeting new people, reading some new books or embarking on a new hobby.

Choose to be happy, joyful and content at this very moment in your life. Take solace in knowing that your current position doesn’t predict your potential. You’re on your way some place wonderful! Make your plans, map your goals and continue on your happy, fun- filled course! Choose to be happy, today.

About The Author

Teri Worten is webmaster of two popular websites designed to inspire, uplift and encourage any woman who chooses to overcome life's barriers to success and happiness.
Visit her sites today at:

or www.gottabemegirl.com
tworten@yahoo.com

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Just Do It!
by: Yolanda Shoshana.

In our society people can name a hundred reasons or shall I say "excuses" why they should not do something that they dream of doing, while finding one good reason is hard to find. We have become a culture full of dreamers, "one day I am going to..." We have become scared of taking a risk for fear of failure and continue to wait for the right time to pursue our goals.

What are you waiting for? There will never be anyone who gives you permission to go for what you want. It is up to you to begin to seize the day. The right time is NOW. Get rid of the "should haves" and "could haves" There is no reason why someone else is living out your dream except for the fact that they decided to take action. Just Do It!

Intention: To day I will take steps to "doing" actions that lead me closer to my dreams becoming my reality.

About The Author

Yolanda Shoshana, "The Woman Booster", is a life strategist for women and artist. She founded Shekhinah Arts a life strategist coaching company to advocate, educate, inspire, and motivate women. To get on the Shekhinah Arts ezine list for, Quick Bites: Inspiration and Motivation for a Woman on the Go and Femme Fatale, email her at shoshi@shekhinaharts.com.
shekhinarts@yahoo.com

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MY CAREER IS IN THE DOLDRUMS…Do I need a Coach or a Therapist?
by: Nina Ham

Monday the worst day of your week? Can you hardly remember when you enjoyed going to work? Do friends ask why you seem so down? Maybe this has been going on awhile, and you’re realizing it’s time to do something. But where do you turn? At one moment you tell yourself “It’s just my career…Change that, and everything will be OK”. Another moment, you acknowledge you’re living under a cloud and a lot of old emotional ghosts are returning. Your friend who’s recommending you consult her therapist may be right.

Your uncertainty is understandable. Work itself is never “just work” but can reach deep into our attitudes toward ourselves and into our sense of belonging in the world. Furthermore, therapy and coaching have much in common and differ primarily in the emphasis each places on action and understanding. Whether you decide to deal with your work issues through a practical approach or a psychological approach is a matter of choice. The questions posed below should help you make that choice.

• Are you an action person or an insight person?

Most people are both, in some mix, but they instinctively approach change either by setting it in motion with action or by first assessing and preparing for its emotional impact. A shy mid-level manager, for example, who has taken on new responsibilities that involve public speaking, may gravitate toward a Toastmasters group for help. She would be a candidate for coaching if she wanted to develop her mastery further. Or she might prefer to look toward therapy as a setting in which she could explore her anxieties about being in the spotlight.

• What’s your track record for converting personal desires and dreams into real-time?

Although all of us may have periods of doubting whether we deserve work we love and are good at, being able to sustain a commitment to having what you want is essential for coaching. If you find yourself stuck in daydreaming about the ideal career, or perhaps avoiding or sabotaging efforts to create it for yourself, it may be that you’re blocked by low self-esteem and/or depression. In this case, therapy might be the better choice, to help you build a positive investment in yourself.

• Holding your feet to the fire…too hot?

In the process of revitalizing your career, there’s plenty of research to be done: research into yourself – who you are now and what you want – and research into the marketplace. A therapist would accompany you in researching yourself but would only indirectly participate in your market research. Homework and accountability are generally built into coaching, designed by you and your coach. Whether you find accountability motivating and focusing, or unwelcome pressure, should help inform your decision.

• Do you want an expert or a companion?

A therapist will invite you to go deeply into issues that may be blocking or confusing you, and may draw on his or her expertise to challenge your definition of the problem. A coach will invite you to co-create the goals and design of the coaching, and your stated agenda will be the focus unless you decide to change it. Both therapist and coach will help you see what you can’t see, but you remain more explicitly in charge of coaching than you would of therapy.

If you come to the conclusion that you want to look into psychotherapy, it’s advisable to look for word-of-mouth recommendations whenever possible. Another possibility is to consult your local Mental Health Association. Many people find it empowering to ask for sample visits with at least two therapists before making their decision. If you decide on coaching, be sure to inquire about training, in addition to experience, as you’re looking for a coach. The International Coaching Federation maintains a credential that assures the client of a high level of both training and experience. And remember, nothing precludes doing therapy and coaching simultaneously. Some people find it a powerful duo. Good luck on your quest!

About The Author

Nina Ham, certified coach and licensed psychotherapist, is principal of Success from the Inside Out, providing individual coaching and teleseminars to build the skills, attitudes and habits for sustainable success in your career or business. Mail to: Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com, subscribe in subject line, for free monthly e-zine, or visit http://www.SuccessfromtheInsideOut.com.
Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com

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Text Box:  Inspiration Corner

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.

--Jim Rohn--

 

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March 21. 2005 @ 1PM     Single Motherhood after 35      (Free)
March 24, 2005 @ 1PM    Its Never too Late to Try Something New
March 28, 2005 @ 1PM   Choosing Childcare
April 7, 2005 @ 1PM    How to Write a Personal Mission Statement

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Contact information

Michele Alexander

Email:     coach@4ThePerfectFit.com

Phone:    (212) 987-6177

Web:       http://www.4ThePerfectFit.com

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