I was watching the Today show when the question was asked, “Who’s Happier, Men or Women?” There was a study done by the Wharton School of Business that show that men are 90 minutes happier a day than women. Surprised? I was.

Why is this happening? It appears we (women) have more on our plates than we did 30 years ago; but, we try to do it all. Well, Karyn White’s, “Superwoman was out in the 80’s and we didn’t listen to her. How are we now to remedy this struggle. Well, the report was a start. We have to be honest. I’m very happy that women were honest, as a woman and a coach. It is the first step to being happier. Therefore if you follow these five (5) steps you should start having more happier moments in your day.

  • Acknowledge – You have to acknowledge that you aren’t happy; but, you want to be.
  • Prioritize – You can’t do everything so try to do what’s most important to you.
  • Let go – No one’s perfect. But, trying to be and not embracing challenges and failure as a positive and not an obstacle prevents the growth, learning and the joy of success.
  • Change – Only you have the power to change your life. If you need to play more, love more, clean more, etc. “do it” but don’t forget to ask for help and support. Friends, family, colleagues, etc. are a great beginning; but, babysitters, housekeepers, therapist, trainers, coaches, etc., are another.

Be happy – Many women are miserable because they have forgotten what joy is. Smile a little more at others, count your blessings, and laugh at yourself. It’s a fact that all of these can improve your mood, increase the possibilities of success, and how others perceive you. In the end, it’s about knowing what’s important to you, owning you life and its challenges, asking for help when needed, and deciding you want to enjoy your life more. It may be tough at first; but, in the end, it’s worth it.

Other Links:

After Labor Day this year, I was watching a news story that stated Labor Day was the beginning of the New Year.  It discussed how many consider Labor Day the beginning of their year.  I also agree.  Why?  Summer ends, schools starts and the 4th quarter begins.  Also, this is when many companies start evaluating what they’ve accomplished this year and start developing their new business strategies.  Why shouldn’t you? 

October is an excellent time for you to be proactive and evaluate your life and career.  How do you do this?  Ask yourself these 10 questions:

  • Do you like what, you’re doing? 
  • What are the things you have accomplished personally, professionally and spiritually? 
  • Have you reach the goals you set for yourself last year? 
  • Have you reached the goals your organization set for you? Spiritual home suggest? Or you made in your business? 
  • How have you contributed to your business, spiritual home or the organization you worked for? 
  • How has your life changed this year? 
  • Do you feel as if you are a valued personally or professionally?  
  • Do you feel you are beginning compensated adequately, rewarded or feel fulfilled personally, professionally, and spiritually? 
  • Is your career path on track?  

Is your life path on track?Why am I asking you to ask yourself these questions?  If you work for an organization, it could be doing the same thing right now.  If you run your own business you should definitely be asking yourself these questions.  Why?  It’s the 4 quarter and companies are preparing for bonuses, promotions or lay-offs.  Business strategies are being set in organizations, businesses and even spiritual houses based on these factors.

Finally, if you don’t know your own value, you may be out of step with how people see you both personally and professionally.  Because of this, take a good look at your life and set 10 goals you want to accomplish, personally, professionally and spiritually. What you will realize once you start managing your life effectively and realizing you play a role in what works and doesn’t work in your life, you will become a success.   

Interesting Links

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It’s Not Fair … How Do I Change It

I have had many clients discuss with me as a coach, what is working and what is not working.  I often I hear “IT’S NOT FAIR!!!”  I’m not surprised that my clients or anyone feels this way; but, what does surprise me is that it creates obstacles that keep the individuals from getting what they want and need.  However, that is a challenge that must be overcome to get what you want in your life.  

I’ve discovered 6 simple steps to change this.

  1. Laugh – Ask yourself, do I have any control over the situation.  If you don’t, humor is a great way to start healing and move forward.
  2. Prioritize – Ask yourself is this important to you in your goals.  Why do you consider it a setback if it really isn’t that important and just hurts your feelings? (pride) Most of the things that set us back aren’t really needed by us anyway that are projected on us and we let them stick.
  3. Create Plan – Many wait for something to happen to them.  Thinking if you’re in the right place at the right time, you will get what you want.  But, sometimes there’s even a plan for that.  If you assess your situation, and create a plan, life can become more manageable and the challenge can be conquered.
  4. Find a sponsor, mentor or champion who supports you.  When you’re in a group and make the wrong choice, that’s bad.  However, it’s not uncommon. It’s called “group think.”  But, support can also be positive and give you the courage to do what you need and should do.
  5. Focus on what’s working.  When things are not fair and you fixate on the negative and let it stop you, it lets the other guy win. When you focus on what’s working for you, even when you are having challenges, you normally can find a solution.
  6. Take action.  If you don’t try, nothing will ever happen.  Remember, even if you fail, you did something and if you choose to, you learn from the process.

Try these steps.  They are just a start.  You’ll be amazed if you use these steps and look at life with humor, your life can really turn around rather quickly.

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It’s Never to Late … Ask Sabra

The reality dance contest “So You Think You Can Dance, Season 3” crowned a new winner on Thursday night, Sabra Johnson.  She’s a 20 year old dancer from Utah.  So what does that have to do with women in life transition?  Quite a bit, Sabra didn’t start dancing until 4 years ago.  She discovered her passion later in life when most people would have said hang it up. It’s too late to consider this a career choice.  Occasionally men come to the world of dance late; but, it is very challenging for women.  However, she persevered and now she has won the competition against much more seasoned dancers.  Why?  She tried.  She chose to develop her passion, focused on her strengths and learned from her weakness and understood that there may be sacrifices.  She was also open to the feedback when it was given and now she on top of the world. 

Granted this is a lot like a Cinderella story; but, what she did was go after her dream when most would feel it’s too late to try.  Why?  It was important to her. 
So what should you learn from Sabra?  Nigel Lythgoe, executive producer and judge of SYTYCD, said it best “Sabra…you dance with your heart…”  To me that means, if you discover a talent that is your passion go after it.  You may just discover the seeds that you planted late in the season bloom and bear fruit.

What passion have you been afraid to pursue?  It may not be too late to try.

Congratulations Sabra!!!

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Be Present and Stop Projecting the Future

Too many times, I have clients who are afraid of owning their lives and dreams.  This is because they project the outcome of attempting a goal in every aspect of their lives.  Why? They go back to the past and know the outcome of the situation. But, is this true?  Are they learning from the past or are they using it as and obstacle to keep from experiencing, growing and moving forward.  When I see this happening, I suggest “Being Present.”  Many times I get a, “What???”  I’m not saying it isn’t hard; but, being present can create so much more positive energy.

Consider these 4 things on, “Being Present.”  It could help you move forward.

  1. Stop projecting.  It only holds you back and keeps you from moving forward.  If you don’t try something, what happens?  Nothing!!!  An example, being negative may be factual; but, is it constructive? Can you change it?  If you say negatives you will attract the negative and if you aren’t present experiencing your life, you create a truth without the action taking place and the fiction you are thinking becomes fact. 
  2. Listen, participating in a conversation is not always about talking it can be about paying attention, too.  The appropriate response or reaction can be everything.
  3. Try.  Look for a new job.  Go out on a date.  Try a new hobby, etc. Sometimes it’s not even about taking the risk; it’s about just doing one thing to move in the direction of accomplishing what you want.
  4. Be open.  The unexpected may happen.  It could change your perspective on something or someone. 

If you don’t do this yet, don’t worry.  Just be present now, acknowledge what you do and how you want to change and move forward.  What happened?  Did you change?  Your Energy?  Etc.

Check out theses great tips and thoughts on “Being Present:”

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What We Can Learn From Beyonce’s Fall

I saw the infamous video of Beyonce’s Fall and I have a brief comment. As a coach I feel that we can learn from this event.  We all have made mistakes; but, the outcome of those blunders depends on how we handle them.  We can quit and slink away; but, what will be the result? 

A few people will feel sorry for you; however, if you persevere most will rally behind you. 

When I coach clients, I often remind them that in most cases no one notices the mistakes unless you point them out or continually and /or apologize for them; but, do nothing about your error.  However, it is important that you own them, learn and try to recover as quickly as possible because,

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving.
 They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”

  ~~Conrad Hilton~~Do you have your own moments when you fell metaphorically and succeeded when you kept striving?  I’d love to hear about them.
Do you have your own moments when you fell metaphorically and succeeded when you kept striving?  I’d love to hear about them.

Do you have your own moments when you fell metaphorically and succeeded when you kept striving?  I’d love to hear about them.

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Reward Yourself and Accomplish More

We’ve all heard, work hard play hard.  But, do we really believe this?  I always ask my clients in the middle of working towards a goal, “What are you doing for fun or to reward yourself for the work you are doing?”  Why? Many individuals burn out, if all they are doing is working.  Even, if they are doing or working towards something they desire. 

Because of this, I always remind my clients to take a break and/or reward themselves. The first time I do this, I get all kinds of arguments; mainly, time, money, or both. When I saw, Suzanne McLoone’s blog, post “Can You Afford Not To.” It spoke volumes and I totally agree with it.  She states, “You are the boss” of you, and if you don’t reward yourself, who will.  I whole heartedly agree.  

That’s why I suggest, when you have goals that can’t be accomplished in one sitting, set mini-goals or benchmarks all along the way.  This will allow you to check-in, refocus and reward yourself for the work you have done.  Also, don’t forget to follow through on your rewards; because, you might stop trusting the most important person in you life, “You.” Finally, make sure your reward is inspiring and enjoyable to you.  “bootstrapbusiness.org” has a wonderful blog posting on “Rewarding Yourself” which discusses this further. 
I’ve come up with a list of things that you can do, all for $20 and under.  Now you have no more excuses.  You are the boss of you and I’m reminding you to reward yourself.  Here are ten (10) suggestions.

  1. Pamper yourself, buy a new lipstick, or get a Manicure the hand massage will be work it.
  2. Go to the movies, the tickets aren’t $20 yet.
  3. Take a night out.  Go see an off-off Broadway play or one at your local community theatre.  Make arrangement to see a local concert in the park. You can’t beat and entertaining evening out.
  4. Go to a museum or gallery exhibit you’ve been meaning to see. 
  5. Buy yourself a Flower’s.  Often you can get a nice arrangements of in season flowers at your local florist for $20
  6. Buy yourself a $20 gift card.  Put it in your wallet and use it when you want to treat yourself. 
  7. Change Your Space.  Buy a gallon of paint and paint your bedroom or office.  Rearrange your furniture.  It’s a great pick me up.
  8. Go a Do It Yourself Craft Store.  Make a necklace, stuffed animal or paint a new coffee mug for $20 or under.
  9. Send an email, text or even make a phone call to a friend, if possible someone you haven’t connected with lately. Invite them out for a cup of coffee.
  10. Buy a local tour book, go online to your local chamber of commerce or look at what’s happening calendar in your local paper.  Take a walking tour of your city and go sightseeing.  Don’t forget your camera.  It’s vacation in your own backyard.

These are just a few suggestions.  Get creative.  I’d love to hear what you do, to reward yourself.

As a coach, being present and being honest with yourself about you goals and dreams is important to being prosperous both personally and professionally.  I was reminded of this while reading the articles in eweek, “Works Rarely Jump Ship Over Pay Alone” and”IT Execs Bail Early.”  It was interesting to see companies thought employees left because of money; the truth was personal growth, values and culture. 

I know this it IT but this is important regardless of the opportunity you are working in or the passion you have. It’s also important to note this, whether you are looking at a life and career change.  Also, it doesn’t matter if it is in traditional or non traditional work environment; but, take a look at these articles and learn from them.  Why?  Because you need to be truthful with yourself, why don’t you like your current career or position? 

Really look at your values and prioritize what’s important to you.  Understand that you do have a mission and a vision of the life you want.  There are goals that you have that will help you achieve the life you desire.  But if you are not honest and make it about money and not about the things that are important to you in a few months you may find yourself frustrated in your life or career. 

Whose fault is it that you didn’t learn from you last experience?  Why are you so unhappy with the situation you are in?  Why does every opportunity look the same?  Ask yourself these questions. It’s time to listen to yourself and own your dreams. 

Administrator

Prioritize Your Goals and Achieve Success

Priorities are the hardest things for all to do.  But, what I’ve noticed with my experience with women priorities are very challenging.  That is because most women that I work with appropriate other people’s agendas.  Their jobs, their partner’s, their families, children, etc., and this allows them to decide what’s important to them.  But, is it?  No. 

The other thing I’ve notices is woman ignore their own priorities.  It’s easier to make excuses than to fail at trying to achieve your goals. 

Remember, priorities should be your own this increases your success in your goals.  I’ve always noticed that when my clients know and are honest about their priorities, decisions are much more focused and clear.  They understand the consequences of any choice they make and are able to manage them?

How do you prioritize your agenda?  Write down your goals.  Be honest with yourself about what is really important.  Then consider the consequences, both good and bad’ and deal with them accordingly.  This will help you manage your time more effectively.  It’s also about getting rid of resentment when you have to put something else ahead of your priority because now you understand why.  This also will help you get rid of goals that are really busy work.  Believe it or not many goals are not yours but something someone suggested you should do or try and you don’t want to so its OK if you fail at them.  But remember prioritizing goals makes sure your aspirations are important; this allows you to focus on what’s significant to you.  Now you can’t blame anyone if they don’t happen.  But, you will be so proud of yourself when you try and accomplish you desires.

Other Links that will help you in this process:

No obstacles, now its time to take the risk.  Why is it so hard?  Grigor Ćorić, of “Behind the Glasses” states we are not all born risk takers.  That some types of personalities are more inclined to take risk.  However, when you are trying to reach a goal, it is something you desire or an unknown talent that you want to embrace and flourish.  Is it really a risk? 

Why is it so hard for us to go after our dreams; fear, lack of support, and no confidence in succeeding?  How do you change this?  Acknowledge your goals.  Write them down.  Keep them simple or if you have a big goal.  Break it down into steps.  Goals should always be clear and succinct.  .

Now make your goal measurable. Make sure your goal no longer than 90 days for the sake of this lesson.  I want you to succeed.

I always ask my clients to think of 10 goals in 90 days.  Can you believe they get stuck?  Why?  They are so focused on the long ranged goals which can be overwhelming that they don’t look at the immediate things they can and need to accomplish.  Breaking things down could help you; get to where they need to go. Don’t make a layered goal.  That’s a goal that depends on to many things to accomplish and would really be a long-term or complex goal. 

Now start doing.  I know it takes an element of risk on your part.  I always ask my clients, is not the risk worth the reward?   Seth Godin, discusses in his blog, “Taking a Risk” is that risk taking is interesting.  Though, he’s referring to business, the same concept occurs in real life.  Look at how we route for the underdog when they are trying to succeed. We all love Cinderella Stories and have our favorite version. Why? Its about trying and overcoming adversity. 

Now that you have starting working on your goal, people will embrace you for being proactive and want to be a part of your success.  They become the beginning of your support network.  Also, you may fail; but, this could be a part of the learning process.  But that doesn’t mean stop. 

Finally, while reading the “Looking for the Truth,” blog, that discusses life lessons in Christianity, that talents have to be nurtured.  I found it interesting that it talks about how people will give you clues and encouragement about your talents; but, you have to use them.  Then they will mature and flourish.  The same is true with our goals.  As you work towards them, they become easier to achieve.  You become stronger, more confident, but, it’s OK to still be afraid. That makes the goal worth the challenge.

What have we learned? Goal(s) + Fear + Risk + Work + Support = Success.  Are you ready to succeed? 

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