Archive for the 'Relationship' Category

Administrator
Nov 6th, 2006

Is Friendship Harder After 35?

Friendship may or may not be harder after 35; however, the world we live in doesn’t make it happen as organically as it did when we were younger or even twenty years ago.  So it may take some work to make and maintain friendships.  I recommend you try to have 5 friends.  Why five?  If you have 5 friends you will have a table of 6 including yourself, the perfect number for a gathering.  So here are 4 tips to get you started filling your table of six:

  1. Know what you want from a friend.  That is the role you expect them to fill.  Consider this, you may be the mentor or nurturer friend for others; but, you may need a friend who reciprocates this role for you.  Some examples of friends are the:
    1. mentor 
    2. nurturer
    3. activity buddy
    4. confidant
    5. work buddy
    6. old friendetc.  There are many types of friends so don’t let yourself be locked into these examples.  However, try to find 5 different types of friends for your inner circle.  They really help make your life more complete.
       

  2. Develop an approach – Take making and managing friendships as seriously as you would your romantic relationship.  Get out; meet people at book readings, activity groups like the ones on meetups.com, and social events like, coffee chats, parties and fundraisers.

  3. Get Moving – I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.  Don’t wait for an invitation.  Make them.  And, don’t settle on friendships that aren’t functioning well.  You don’t have to break up; but, manage them and build friendships that are working.

  4. Manage your friendships – Friendships change.  Manage them effectively and they will be wonderful for your health, support and wellbeing.  People may move in an out of your inner circle because of many different reasons.  However, if you deal with them in an effective way the relationship will become win – win. 

Don’t forget; give friendships a chance to bloom.  Sometimes it takes more than one contact for a relationship to develop.  Also, communication is very import; most women have exceptional verbal skills; but, listening skills are the hardest to master.  Let me know how it’s going.  Remember, it’s an ongoing process.

Links on Friendship:

Administrator
Nov 4th, 2006

Ladies – If You Want to be Healthier – Make a Friend

Friendships between women are important for mental and physical health.  So why is it when I speak to many women, in their thirties and forties, they often say, “They don’t have any friends or at least close friends” … or “they have very few friends?”  Or sometimes they even say, “They don’t have time for friends anymore.”  When I hear this, I tell women how important it is to have and nurture their relationships with women.  In some ways, friendships are more important than being in a relationship with a partner.  Why? 

Friendships with women improve your health, literally.  What does companionship with women do for us?  It reduces stress, lowers cholesterol and blood pressure, increases longevity, and even decreases your risk of getting Alzheimer’s.  So, if the benefits of having friends are so great, why is it so hard to, to have and maintain them, as we get older?  How can we make our friendships a priority, as we would a job or a relationship with a partner?  Why are we so busy? 

Some things are out of your hands.  You may have to travel for work, take care of children or just can’t find the time in your schedule for them.  Also, life changes like marriage, relocation, having children, death, illness or divorce could also have affected your relationships.  Sometimes we pull back when we’re busy or going through a life change.  We don’t communicate with our friends how important they are to us, how much we need them or sometimes we just don’t bother them and we lose touch.  But, instead of pulling back, it’s very important to make and maintain your relationships.  It’s not easy; but, it’s worth it, especially for women.  So pick up the phone and make a date with an old or new friend. What do you have to loose?  What will you gain?

Links on the Benefits of Friendship for Women

Administrator
Nov 1st, 2006

Forgiveness Will Help You Move Past the Emotional Baggage

I woke up last night, turned on the television, and found myself watching a dating show.  In the show there was a young woman who was tells her date, she doesn’t want to get married or even date really, because eventually men leave you. She felt that men were always looking for someone better, smarter, prettier, etc.  But the date wasn’t going to her expectations, the young man seemed interested in her and still wanted to connect with her.  He really wanted to find out more about her, her feeling and share his experiences with her, too.  But, that made her call him, sensitive and eventually confronting him by saying he wasn’t different than anyone else, and she ultimately told him he was probably a cheat, too.  Needless to say, the date didn’t go well.  Watching this woman’s reality moment, made me realize, the date would have been the same, even if it wasn’t television. 

I want you, to ask yourself a question?  Have you ever found yourself doing something similar in life?  Not necessarily on a date; but, when you are exposed to a new experience, get a new opportunity , or even accepting an invitation out for the evening?  Do you sometimes predict a pessimistic result?  Is this you?  Now think about it and fill in your blank.  Do you know what causes this?  Say it!  You know it!!   Baggage!!! 

Yes, I know its an ugly word and by the time you are thirty you’ve probably heard it at least once.  But, its real.  It can cause you challenges in life.  Why? It makes you project expectations from previous experiences and not look at the potential in the situation you are in. How do you change this?   You have to exorcize it.  Some remedies are, go to therapy, get a coach, or seek spiritual counsel; but there is a cheaper way, forgiveness. 

Forgiveness is a great way to let go of the emotional baggage that is keeping you from enjoying life and getting what you want.  Forgiveness will allow you to release yourself from resentment that has become a barrier in you life’s journey, to find a mate, new job or exploring your talents.  Remember, if you don’t address your emotional baggage, it can also affect your ability to live the life you desire.  It’s ok that you might not be aware of your baggage on the surface, but when you discover it, the benefits of forgiving and letting it go are huge.  So let me ask you, what’s keeping you from forgiving both, personally and professionally, to live your best life?

… and remember “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” ~~Catherine Ponder~~Links on Forgiveness

Books on Forgiveness

  

Administrator
Oct 29th, 2006

Journal Writing Can Help You Discover What You’re Looking For

As a life coach, I hear my clients say, they want a new career, relationship, or life change; but, they are not sure what really want, or how to get it.  If this is you, you’re not alone.  But, you do know what you really want? Your challenges? And how to realize you dreams?  Yes, a coach can help you; but journaling is a great tool to get you started.    Why?  Just putting something on the page makes it a reality, releases stress and increases focus?  The reason, when we acknowledge by journaling, what’s important to us or how we feel about something, we give our thoughts, desires, frustrations and ideas, a voice, along with a place to reside.  

How do you start Journaling?

  • Get a journal or notebook that works for you and your lifestyle.  It can be digital or paper (Remember a computer journals can crash, so always try to save it to a jump or flash drive.)
  • Set aside a time in the morning or evening to reflect on your day, dreams and thoughts
  • Find a place to write. 
  • Write

Remember your journal is for you.  It can contain a to-do list, your life strategies, drawings, or discuss your dreams and frustrations. But remember the benefits are huge. Some examples of the pluses of journaling are:

  • Decreases stress
  • Increases focus
  • Develops creativity
  • Allow for reflection
  • Expands your inner voice
  • Helps you set clearer goals.

Yes, a coach can help you gain focus and clarify your goals; but, journaling will make this process much easier, too.  With all of these benefits, why are you not journaling? 

More Links on Journaling

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