4theperfectfit.com Blog

I really felt the need to share this with all. These valuable lessons in life are for anyone even if they are not just starting out. I hope it gives you something to think about.

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What we can learn from Paris Hilton.  When you have to do something you can do it.  But is that always the best way?  On Larry King she discussed she had claustrophobia and when she realized she had to stay in jail she dealt with it.  …and that’s the lesson. 

Why is it that when we have to deal with a challenge, look for a new job, dump the boyfriend, husband, etc, or lose a few pounds, we come up with every excuse instead of dealing with the challenge and what’s wrong. The reason is our excuses are a coping mechanism. 
How do you get started if you want to deal with your challenge before a crisis? 
Acknowledge what’s wrong.  That’s sometimes the hardest thing.
Be honest, you have a part in what’s happening. Also ask your self how you have added value to your current position, relationship or situation.  That could be a real eye opener.  What it means is you might be a part of the problem. 
Now get to know yourself.  Go back and ask yourself you strengths and weakness and where you need to develop.  What are the things you want, need and the deal breakers you have in life.  A good example, why go on a diet that you have to eat shrimp 5 times a week and you are allergic.  That doesn’t work.  It’s about learning not to sabotage yourself. 

Understand the challenge. It’s about not trying to make a fit where it doesn’t work.  It doesn’t work with clothing and it doesn’t work with people with either.  You can date someone or marry someone who seems to not have anything in common with you; but, in reality it works because you have similar values and/or they compliment one another. 

Now learn from your mistakes because sometimes the reasons things don’t work are justifiable.  Fore instance, the hours at your job don’t work for you because you’re a single parent, or you are back in school.  The commute may be taking its toll because you are not connecting personally or professionally.  You could be a pastry chef and it wreaks havoc on your waistline.  Or; the culture or an organization is working an 18 hour day and that’s never been you.  All of these are just a few examples. But, learn from them.  It will help you find your next opportunity or mate and manage your partner, job or food intake better. 

The point is you should look at all of your challenges in life to help conquer them.   The reason, it’s easier to take charge of your life now before you are forced to.  It makes change easier to accept, more permanent and less traumatic because you have a choice. 
 

…Remember

Things don’t change; we change.
~~Henry David Thoreau~~

Often, I have clients how are addicted to their Blackberries, phones, Bluetooth’s, Sidekicks, etc.  However, they wonder why they are not making the genuine connections with clients, friends, families and potential partners that they’d like.  Well the reason…technology. PUT IT DOWN!!! How can you be intimate with anyone, when the only thing you’re really focused on, is the person you are texting or talking to on your Bluetooth.  Tell them you will call or text them back later, be present and enjoy the person you are with. 

Because of this, I had to duplicate the email I received yesterday, “Ten Blackberry Commandments ” by Joey Reiman of The Brighthouse Consultancy, from Pink Magazine, for you to think about.
 

Ten Blackberry Commandments
By Joey Reiman
 

1. Thou shalt not take the BlackBerry to any table with food on it or family around it. A BlackBerry is not a fruit, nor does it come from a tree.
   
2. Thou shalt not use the BlackBerry as reading material in the event of insomnia. It will only worsen your situation.
   
3. Thou shalt not BlackBerry in lieu of responding to a child’s request (e.g., “Wait a second, I’m reading something.”).
   
4. Thou shalt not place the BlackBerry within distance of hearing its incessant beeps while at home. It is not a bird.
   
5. Thou shalt not check BlackBerry as if it were your baby. It will not cry or stop breathing.
   
6. Thou shalt not confuse number of e-mails with self-worth.
   
7. Thou shalt do everything possible to misplace your BlackBerry on weekends. “There’s No Place Like Home” will never be the tagline for the BlackBerry company.
   
8. Thou shalt remember that a BlackBerry is not a body appendage. It is a device that belongs in your briefcase, on your desk and not in social settings.
   
9. Thou shalt refrain from bringing the BlackBerry to events involving family interaction. Extraneous dialogue with this contraption in lieu of real conversation suggests addiction.
   
10. Thou shalt never, ever, ever bring the BlackBerry to bed. Do this and you are BlackBuried!

Joey Reiman is CEO and founder of The BrightHouse Consultancy. thinkbrighthouse.com

Have a great Weekend!!!

Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.”

~~Pablo Picasso~~

I love this quote. It speaks to the procrastinators in all of us. However, for women, it speaks to the need to please everyone but ourselves. Why? When was the last time you took a minute for yourself? I know that you have to work, take care of children, boyfriends, husbands, mothers, etc. But when you look at the list of things you have done so far today, what have you done for you? … to take care of yourself?

Did you take a long pause after reading that? Did everything come to mind; but, something you wanted or needed to do? Women are nurturers and that what makes women wonderful caregivers, managers and advisors; but, nurturing self is very important, too. It will relieve stress, allow you to take that mental break that will recharge your brain, and overall improve your health. Why? If you don’t take care of you, who will? So what have you been putting off doing?

• Getting your nails done
• Going to the gym
• Picking up that book you’ve been wanting to read
• Make an appointment with your physician, dentist, therapist, etc.
• Register for a class, seminar, or workshop you’ve wanted to take.
• Going to be on time.

This list can go on an on. Why? These things just help you in your quest to reaching your goals.

As a coach I often remind my clients whether they are in a job search or career change, in the midst of a personal crisis or just wanting to drop a few pounds. They have to remember their lifestyle and that not being present and enjoying your life can affect your health, success and well being. It can also affect you achieving your goals. Yes, you may have to do things for other people, employers, children, family, etc; but, you are your priority. Stop living for tomorrow and be present and live for today. Especially, if it means, you are taking care of you.

“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.”      
~~ George Washington Carver

But wait, is that statement true?  To some, excuses are validations that make an individual who is being or has become undependable to themselves and others, OK. Why?   Excuses can make an individuals feel justified about their ability to not be accountable.  Right?  Yes and no.  Do you agree? 

But wait, excuses can also be helpful to your self esteem and mental health, states a study from at the University of Florida.  At the same time excuses can allow you to be dismissive of your short coming in life or performance of simple task. 

So the question is, are excuses good or bad?  Well, consider this, we need to understand is our values, choices, decisions and the consequences of the excuses we make; because that helps us be more accountable and balanced.  Excuses have validity when they involve facts.  It’s important not to use excuses to justify our behavior on a consistent basis.  It’s important to use them to forgive yourself of the roadblocks we create that keep us from moving forward and reaching our goals; whether they are create by ourselves or others.  This does not mean others need to accept or forgive our excuses.  We must understand that there are consequences to making excuses.  So in the end, we have to realize excuses are all about the person who makes them not necessarily the person who they are directed to.  Also, remember everyone doesn’t have to accept your excuses or forgive you.