Archive for the 'Networking' Category


It’s Not Fair … How Do I Change It

I have had many clients discuss with me as a coach, what is working and what is not working.  I often I hear “IT’S NOT FAIR!!!”  I’m not surprised that my clients or anyone feels this way; but, what does surprise me is that it creates obstacles that keep the individuals from getting what they want and need.  However, that is a challenge that must be overcome to get what you want in your life.  

I’ve discovered 6 simple steps to change this.

  1. Laugh – Ask yourself, do I have any control over the situation.  If you don’t, humor is a great way to start healing and move forward.
  2. Prioritize – Ask yourself is this important to you in your goals.  Why do you consider it a setback if it really isn’t that important and just hurts your feelings? (pride) Most of the things that set us back aren’t really needed by us anyway that are projected on us and we let them stick.
  3. Create Plan – Many wait for something to happen to them.  Thinking if you’re in the right place at the right time, you will get what you want.  But, sometimes there’s even a plan for that.  If you assess your situation, and create a plan, life can become more manageable and the challenge can be conquered.
  4. Find a sponsor, mentor or champion who supports you.  When you’re in a group and make the wrong choice, that’s bad.  However, it’s not uncommon. It’s called “group think.”  But, support can also be positive and give you the courage to do what you need and should do.
  5. Focus on what’s working.  When things are not fair and you fixate on the negative and let it stop you, it lets the other guy win. When you focus on what’s working for you, even when you are having challenges, you normally can find a solution.
  6. Take action.  If you don’t try, nothing will ever happen.  Remember, even if you fail, you did something and if you choose to, you learn from the process.

Try these steps.  They are just a start.  You’ll be amazed if you use these steps and look at life with humor, your life can really turn around rather quickly.


Do You Know Your Value?

Many clients come to me, wanting to change professions. These women have or have had successful careers; but, sometimes have challenges knowing their value. In the past their value has been determined by their employers, not their necessarily their skill set. Most women underestimate their value.

What’s most interesting is that women make approximately 70% on the dollar compared to their male colleagues. So how do you know your value?

Research – Your job description and check out websites, books, databases to find out what your colleagues are making in your field.

Update – Your resume, preferably functional. If you don’t what you’ve do, while this are going great, its difficult to see your value while things are challenging (A lay-off, firing, relocation for personal reasons, etc.

Network – If you are not a part of your professional community you will not know the business and salary trends of your industry (Example: IT Salaries are going down – Sometimes called a correction.

Tomorrow – Evaluate Your Personal Value


Get Unstuck; Take a Risk and Move Forward

Have you reached out, connected or reconnected?  If not, don’t make excuses, take a risk and just it do. 

Many women get caught up in why they can’t do something and want to explain it.  Women do this, not for validation by only others; but for self justification, too.  Do you ever do this?  Well, if you do, consider after self acknowledgement, doing something about it.  What does this mean?  Get unstuck, take action, and move forward.  So you didn’t send out Christmas or Holiday greetings.  Send out New Year’s greetings, via snail mail, email or just pick up the phone and call someone you want to connect or reconnect with.  Why?  You might get a surprise.  Make a new friend or renew an old relationship.  Get a supporter or an ally.  It will be worth it.


Happy Holidays!!!


Do You Have a Goal Like “Dreamgirls?”

Did you know screenwriter’s Bill Condon’s fantasy goal was to write the script for the “Dreamgirls” movie?  However, it was a film that no one was really allowed to write or get off the ground because the producer of the Broadway show, David Geffen,  retained the film rights and didn’t feel anyone could do justice to the film version.  Also he was concerned the Broadway version’s of “Dreamgirls reputation and his friend’s Michael Bennet the choreographer’s memory could be damaged? 

Wait, isn’t “Dreamgirls” the film that’s opening to all of the Oscar Buzz?  Yes!!!

Why am I writing about the movie “Dreamgirls” in today’s Blog? Well when I was reading the December 4, issue, of my New York Observer; I read the article “Dreamgirls Wakes Up.”  It stated the facts that  I mentioned in the first paragraph.  But, the most important fact, was Bill Condon, told his dream goal to a friend, Laurence Mark.  Condon was very specific about his dream and his friend Mark, a producer, was also a friend of David Geffen.  Mark, realized his friend, Condon, really wanted to do this film and Mark arranged a lunch with David Geffen.  Condon gave a 6 minute pitch, about a film, people have been trying to make for 25 years; but unable to and won Geffen over.  Condon will probably win himself an Oscar for it.  Have you heard this before?

Dream Goal -> Pitch -> Support Network -> Connection with a Decision Maker -> Realization of your Dream

What’s your Dream?  Make it happen.  Write your pitch and reconnect; it’s as simple as that.

It is suggested that you have at least 200-300 people in your support network.  Why?  They can help you find out information, meet a mate, get a new job, find a new home, etc.  Remember, you are probably part of someone’s list of 200-300 contacts already.  Is your list there yet?  If not, here are 4 easy steps to building a network that is effective and connects you with people who can support you in “Living Your Best Life.” Here are the 4 steps:

  1. List all of the people you know.  Start with your inner circle.  These are people who know you.  They include: close friends, colleagues, people you would invite out for an evening or to a party.  Don’t forget to include family.  Sometimes, individuals in our family are people we communicate with the least.  Because of this, family is often accused of not being supportive of individuals in achieving their dreams.  Yes, this is possible; but, how can you support a loved one, when you don’t know what someone wants, needs, or they haven’t asked you for help yet?  Family relationships are often the most difficult in your network to manage; however, they could offer the best resources.
  2. Now add everyone you know professionally or socially that you may communicate with; but, not on a daily or even weekly basis.  This list includes services professionals, physicians, dentist, politicians you’ve met, stylist, insurance agents, realtors, etc.  Remember these are people who have provided you with a service and you may have supported them too, already.  These individuals know what is going on with you, or in your environment and are connected with people you don’t know.
  3. Don’t forget to include to the list, everyone you’ve been referred to or met through networking.  These contacts occasionally get dropped from networking or contact list.  Sometimes we make judgments for them and about them.  We don’t want to intrude or don’t feel they are interested as they were in us when we first met them.  Ask first.  Yes, you may be right; but, give these individuals a chance.  You might be surprised.  These contacts could be the great connectors to decision makers or experts, in a life change, crisis or career decisions.
  4. Finally, write down all of the decision makers and experts you know. These are the people who can help you get a job, loan, give you advice in a crisis.  They can also move you to the top of the list, to the front of the line, or make things happen. 

How big is your list, now?  I think you’re ready to start connecting.


Create and Maintain an Effective List

When I’m helping clients to reconnect, initially I assumed that making the pitch is the challenge and measuring expectations is difficult. But, for many, making and maintaining a list of people to connect and reconnect with is the test.

Many of us go through our rolodexes, phones and address books to find that we haven’t communicated with someone in so long none of the information is incorrect or we forgot how we knew them. So the first step I suggest is to make a spread sheet. It’s an easy place to capture basic information: 

  • Name
  • Title
  • Company
  • Address
  • Phone
  • Cell phone number, etc.

Also, a spreadsheet is a great place to capture comments or notes. It’s easy to upload the information from a simple spreadsheet to various email and communication management platforms. However, if you prefer the tried and true paper methods, don’t forget to make notes on the back of business cards, in address books, etc., and take the time to write details.

Do you have 200-300 people in you contact database? If not, don’t forget to check my next blog. I’ll give you tips on building your list.