Archive for August, 2007

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It’s Not Fair … How Do I Change It

I have had many clients discuss with me as a coach, what is working and what is not working.  I often I hear “IT’S NOT FAIR!!!”  I’m not surprised that my clients or anyone feels this way; but, what does surprise me is that it creates obstacles that keep the individuals from getting what they want and need.  However, that is a challenge that must be overcome to get what you want in your life.  

I’ve discovered 6 simple steps to change this.

  1. Laugh – Ask yourself, do I have any control over the situation.  If you don’t, humor is a great way to start healing and move forward.
  2. Prioritize – Ask yourself is this important to you in your goals.  Why do you consider it a setback if it really isn’t that important and just hurts your feelings? (pride) Most of the things that set us back aren’t really needed by us anyway that are projected on us and we let them stick.
  3. Create Plan – Many wait for something to happen to them.  Thinking if you’re in the right place at the right time, you will get what you want.  But, sometimes there’s even a plan for that.  If you assess your situation, and create a plan, life can become more manageable and the challenge can be conquered.
  4. Find a sponsor, mentor or champion who supports you.  When you’re in a group and make the wrong choice, that’s bad.  However, it’s not uncommon. It’s called “group think.”  But, support can also be positive and give you the courage to do what you need and should do.
  5. Focus on what’s working.  When things are not fair and you fixate on the negative and let it stop you, it lets the other guy win. When you focus on what’s working for you, even when you are having challenges, you normally can find a solution.
  6. Take action.  If you don’t try, nothing will ever happen.  Remember, even if you fail, you did something and if you choose to, you learn from the process.

Try these steps.  They are just a start.  You’ll be amazed if you use these steps and look at life with humor, your life can really turn around rather quickly.

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It’s Never to Late … Ask Sabra

The reality dance contest “So You Think You Can Dance, Season 3” crowned a new winner on Thursday night, Sabra Johnson.  She’s a 20 year old dancer from Utah.  So what does that have to do with women in life transition?  Quite a bit, Sabra didn’t start dancing until 4 years ago.  She discovered her passion later in life when most people would have said hang it up. It’s too late to consider this a career choice.  Occasionally men come to the world of dance late; but, it is very challenging for women.  However, she persevered and now she has won the competition against much more seasoned dancers.  Why?  She tried.  She chose to develop her passion, focused on her strengths and learned from her weakness and understood that there may be sacrifices.  She was also open to the feedback when it was given and now she on top of the world. 

Granted this is a lot like a Cinderella story; but, what she did was go after her dream when most would feel it’s too late to try.  Why?  It was important to her. 
So what should you learn from Sabra?  Nigel Lythgoe, executive producer and judge of SYTYCD, said it best “Sabra…you dance with your heart…”  To me that means, if you discover a talent that is your passion go after it.  You may just discover the seeds that you planted late in the season bloom and bear fruit.

What passion have you been afraid to pursue?  It may not be too late to try.

Congratulations Sabra!!!

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Be Present and Stop Projecting the Future

Too many times, I have clients who are afraid of owning their lives and dreams.  This is because they project the outcome of attempting a goal in every aspect of their lives.  Why? They go back to the past and know the outcome of the situation. But, is this true?  Are they learning from the past or are they using it as and obstacle to keep from experiencing, growing and moving forward.  When I see this happening, I suggest “Being Present.”  Many times I get a, “What???”  I’m not saying it isn’t hard; but, being present can create so much more positive energy.

Consider these 4 things on, “Being Present.”  It could help you move forward.

  1. Stop projecting.  It only holds you back and keeps you from moving forward.  If you don’t try something, what happens?  Nothing!!!  An example, being negative may be factual; but, is it constructive? Can you change it?  If you say negatives you will attract the negative and if you aren’t present experiencing your life, you create a truth without the action taking place and the fiction you are thinking becomes fact. 
  2. Listen, participating in a conversation is not always about talking it can be about paying attention, too.  The appropriate response or reaction can be everything.
  3. Try.  Look for a new job.  Go out on a date.  Try a new hobby, etc. Sometimes it’s not even about taking the risk; it’s about just doing one thing to move in the direction of accomplishing what you want.
  4. Be open.  The unexpected may happen.  It could change your perspective on something or someone. 

If you don’t do this yet, don’t worry.  Just be present now, acknowledge what you do and how you want to change and move forward.  What happened?  Did you change?  Your Energy?  Etc.

Check out theses great tips and thoughts on “Being Present:”