Archive for February, 2007

It’s Valentine’s Day and you are not in the relationship you want?  Well, its time to be honest and ask yourself these questions?

Do you know what you want?  Not just in a relationship; but, out of your life?  If you don’t know who you are, what you want, and have a clear vision of your life; you may attract fixer friends and partners.  That maybe great at first; but, you might end up frustrated.  Why?  Fixer partners are not you and they don’t know your values, life experiences, etc.  Also, Fixers may be trying to create their perfect mate, not be your perfect partner, so they can’t create a fulfilling and inspirational life that you value and need.

What do you want from a friend or partner?  If you don’t clarify what you want, need and the deal breakers, you keep attracting relationships that don’t work for you.  They may work at first because you are not alone; but, in the long term it may be frustrating, depressing and even unsafe.

Are you a happy single person?  A relationship shouldn’t make you happy; your life, career, family, friends, etc. make your life fulfill.  Relationships are not a happiness pill, they only add to you. 

Are you financial stable?  Though I’m not saying you have to be rich; but, be fiscally responsible.  Depending on a partner to rescue you financially can create co-dependence, resentment, and other challenges.   Learn about money and how to manage it. 

Do you have time?  If you can’t make time to have a relationship, look at your life.  You have to make time for your partner, otherwise your relationship, may become something you don’t want.  …and your connection may be over before it starts. 

Does it look like that having a relationship is all about you being together and happy?  Well it is. It’s hard to hear a relationship doesn’t fix you; but, adds to your life.  Also, you only need one valentine.  So when you’re dating it’s OK to date more than one person; but, when you cross the line and become more than friends, be honest with yourself.  It’s not nice being played, nor is it good to be the player.  Remember you have to respect yourself first.