Archive for January, 2007

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Single? Baby? Relationship? Choice.

Are you single?  Looking for a relationship?  Hoping to finally have a baby?  You have a choice. 

This is an issue many single women have wrestled with for years.  However, it becomes more pressing as many move into their mid thirties.  But, why are they wrestling?  You do have a choice. 

Ask yourself, do I really want to have a child?  That is the first question I ask women to answer.  It’s O.K. if you don’t want to be a parent.  But, if you do; ask yourself these questions.

1.       Why are you waiting? 

2.       Is it because your partner is not ready?

3.       Are you still looking for a partner, to parent with? 

4.       Are you ready to become a parent; 
           (but, don’t know where to start?)

5.       Are your finances unstable? 

6.       Are you overcommitted already and can’t find time for a child? 

7.       Are you afraid going at it alone? 

8.       Are you afraid that your lifestyle may change? 

9.       Are you confused at the choices to have to become a parent?

10.     Do you feel you have time?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it might be time to get more information.  Why?  Because fertility peaks at 27; however, declines more severely after 40.  Yes, technology has made it easier to have a baby; but, find out where you are reproductively.  You can do this by asking your doctor for a blood test. 

As a coach, many of my clients have on their top 10 goals; get married have a baby as goals.  These are great.  Still, many are not educated to their timeline, when it comes to the latter, their fertility.  That is the reason this is a blog.  We all have choices.   As women, we must research and get information on this goal, as we would when trying to achieve any goal?  Why?  So we can have realistic expectations about our choices and the consequences are the ones that we can live with.

Informational links:

http://www.theafa.org

http://www.choosingsinglemotherhood.com/

http://mattes.home.pipeline.com/

Articles on Single Motherhood

http://www.tcdailyplanet.net/node/1707

http://singlemothers.org/SMO/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=38

http://momstoday.com/resources/articles/singlemom.htm

http://www.searchmothers.com/mothers/single_mothers.php

Books

http://www.amazon.com/Single-Mothers-Choice-Considering-Motherhood/dp/0812922468

News Video

Choice Moms

http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=efbb983e-56c6-4b95-b752-5c549612dc42&f=00&fg=copy

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Take a Vacation and Discover a New Career

One of most requested goals I’m asked to work on with my clients on is Career Change.  It seems to be crucial to find a gratifying career to help an individual feel fulfilled in their life.  However, it’s very challenging for most, to dream of what they want to be, when you are a “grown up,” now that you are, a “grown up.”   Does this sound familiar?

I always ask my clients, what they would be doing as a career, if money, age, skills set, location, etc. were not an obstacle.  Most are frozen, when I ask that question.  Why?  Fear? Lack of Imagination?  There is no clear cut answer; but, most want me to tell them what they should do.  I can’t; because the answer has to come from them.  Yes, I can give assessments and other test, to help clients discover their aptitude, passion, core values and current skill set.  However, there is one more thing that might help, “Vocation Vacation.” 

Why am I suggesting this?  As a Life Coach, I’m always asking my clients to research opportunities through, informational interviews, networking, etc.  Now “Vocation Vacations” offers another to explore careers that you have an interest in; but are not sure, if it’s something you should go after.  “Vocation Vacations” allows you to shadow a person who has your “Dream Job” and you can see first hand what its like to have your “Dream opportunity.”  Remember it’s not just about making money; but, finding the rewarding career that fits you and makes you feel happy. 

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