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Why am I alone? Oops, wrong question

This is the big question many women ask. It’s time to think about are women asking themselves the right question and what are the answers to it.

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Women in South Florida’s Chapter of Single Mother’s by Choice discuss the joys and challenges of deciding to have children without partners.

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Get the Job You Want

How to search smart and boost your odds of getting hired. Plus, take our QUIZ to sharpen your job-hunting skills.

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Activity, the Great Stress Reducer

Today, I am discussing point two in stress management, activity. We’ve all heard about the endorphins released when we exercise; still, many of us think exercise has to be a huge workout at the gym. Don’t let that be the excuse that is keeping you from moving.

Exercise is the outlet that all of us can use to vent our frustration; but, it is also something else, “Moving Mediation.*” I wish I had come up with that concept; because it is so right. When we make the time to take a walk and leave the world behind for that 15 or 20 minutes something happens. Our head clears, some say the same thing happens when you drive; but, the benefits of exercising far outweigh any benefits of driving.

Yes, exercise can help control weight, prevent heart disease and improves ones body image. But, the benefits to us mentally if we increase our physical activity are endless. If world leaders can take time out of their busy schedules to exercise there must be something to it.

The American Heart Association recommends 30 minutes of moderate activity a day at least five days a week. Are you doing that? Go take a walk it doesn’t have to be on a treadmill or all at one time. Just get moving. Don’t let stress get in the way of your success.

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I really felt the need to share this with all. These valuable lessons in life are for anyone even if they are not just starting out. I hope it gives you something to think about.

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Yesterday, I focused on tips that help you reduce stress; because it can affect you reaching and achieving your goals. For the next few weeks I’m going to explore these tips, techniques and their benefits. The first is meditation.

Meditation is a practice that when many hear mentioned they may feel it’s for sick, overwhelmed and or alternative peoples; but, not them. Still many do not realize that Meditation can be an integral part in you in establishing and reaching your goals. Why?

  • It helps you discover you. You have time to think about yourself. Experience yourself and your thoughts in a way you may never have been able to.
  • You outlook becomes more positive. Meditation reduces anxiety and makes life become less overwhelming; because, “You Stop Sweating the Small Stuff.” The reason, the quiet time gives the brain respite from always working.
  • You can focus and concentrate more. It is a fact that the practice of meditation can improve a person’s concentration skills.

Though there are many more benefits these are a few specific points, why you should Meditate for stress and to improve the possibilities of realizing your goals. When you consider just sitting quite and breathing 5- 10 a day can make you successful, why not learn the techniques of Meditation. The benefits far outweigh the time Meditating.

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10 Tips to Help Women Reduce Their Stress

Stress can hold you back. This time of year can be difficult. Many women start stressing out because they find themselves slacking on their New Year’s resolutions. Valentines Day can also be a let down even if we have a partner because expectations may not be realistic. Jobs pressures may be setting in since the holiday season has ended and companies are focusing in on achieving their goals for the year.

What do you do about these stressors and other things creating anxiety?

Manage it. Why?

Stress can:

  • make you fat
  • cause illness
  • trigger depression
  • make you have a negative view of things around you

and more.

That’s why I’m writing10 tips to help you manage your stress.

  1. Meditate – Just sitting quietly for 5- 15 minutes focusing on your breathing could be like a mini vacation every day
  2. Get Active – Take a walk. It doesn’t have to be long, just 15 – 20 minutes a day will release endorphins that will make you fee better and improve your mood.
  3. Talk to your friends – Identify your table of six and communicate with them. You need their support. If you don’t have them, make them.
  4. Journal – Just writing your thoughts, frustrations or accomplishments will make you feel better. But, writing a “to-do list,” wish list or goal check-in list can also validate your inner voice.
  5. Take time for yourself – Many women get so caught up in other people agendas including love ones they forget to take time for themselves as they did when they were younger. Relax, go to a movie, get your nails done, and keep that hair appointment. It makes a difference.
  6. Help someone. It’s a fact volunteering improves you mood and the quality of your life.
  7. Just say “No.” Having boundaries, both personally and professionally are important.
  8. Compromise. It’s not always about you being right. Take a beat, the Win-Win is better.
  9. Get a hobby. Hobbies are a way to escape, have fun, and feel a since of accomplishment.
  10. Get professional help. Remember, there is nothing wrong for taking aspirin for a headache or putting a bandage on a cut. Therapy both alternative and traditional along with medication if necessary can really improve the quality of your life and your outlook on it.

It seems like a long list; but, just try implementing one of these tips a day; a week or a month and you will see your stress level decrease. You will also see your personal and professional outlook can change and you start realizing the success you are looking for.

Don’t let stress hold you back from living your best life.

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I always want my clients to explore the possibilities. Often I hear; how can I? Well you can and Vocation Vacation is giving NY’ers a chance to experience Vocation Vacations for free. They are having a contest, launching a national Vocationing Club and New York City is where they will be kicking things off.
 

They will provide the five NYC-area Vocation Vacations listed below to five, to 5 lucky New York-area individuals as a gift for being part of their inaugural Vocationing Club. I really want to encourage all to enter this contest by writing a 250 word essay sent in the email text or in a separate, attached word document with a note that states which of the five Vocation Vacations you are most interested in and why. You must also include:

  • Your name
  • Address
  • Email
  • phone numbers
  • and a brief title and/or description of what you currently do for a living today.

To vocationingclub@vocationvacations.com. Submissions will be accepted through December 31, 2007 and and/or forward this blog to friends. You must fit a certain criteria to qualify and be selected to become an inaugural member of Vocation Vacation. Please click here to find out what they are and find out what you will also receive if you are selected.
The five free Vocation Vacations available are:

Vocationing Club inaugural members, will meet for breakfast once a week for eight weeks, starting Tuesday, January 21st in a midtown diner at 7 AM and team-up with four other Vocationing Club members and together, you will experience the eight steps of the Vocationing process as laid out in Brian Kurth’s new book, TEST-DRIVE YOUR DREAM JOB (Hachette Group USA, January 2008.

Vocation Vacation is offering a wonderful opportunity for all individuals in NYC to discover a new vocation in a safe supportive environment. To find out more information on the contest and how to enter click here.

I met a young man, who I felt was a farmer, who harvested success, yesterday in New York City on the Upper Eastside.  Why was that important, because, he was an entrepreneur growing winner who achieve.  He is a mentor and runs a program for young people that had a lot of constraints; but, he found a way to mentor young people in spite of the obstacles.  His friends stand in line to help him. Why because he is a problem solver, mentor and a superstar and he doesn’t let obstacle keep him from being a success. 

Why do I write about this?  Many of us can learn from this young person.  Obstacles are created in your head.  Yes, he is young and he can fail and he has a huge future ahead of him; but, he doesn’t dwell on what he can’t do, he only focuses on what he can.  Because of this obstacles disappear and doors fly open.  

The lesson I’d like my clients to learn is the next time you focus on what’s going wrong, ask yourself what:

  • You want to do?
  • Is working?
  • You can do?
  • You need to do?

I’m not saying don’t focus on any problems; but, remember the Serenity prayer 

Serenity

GOD, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Living ONE DAY AT A TIME; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen                   
By Reinhold Neibuhr

This prayer will remind you to embrace the things that you can change, not to focus on the things you can’t alter, at least not right now and focus on the positive. You will be happier; less stressed and have more success in the end

It’s starting to get to that time of year where I recommend to all of my clients to get reconnect. This is especially important, when we are working on goals. I recommend reaching out to individuals who can support you in your journey and also it is important for your mental health. But before you do this via email, review your email and where it comes from.

Often I notice that many of my clients use their current work email as their contact email. Why is this a problem? When connecting with personal friends, topics may come up that you may not want your employer to know about. Remember that all email correspondence is technically property of your employer. The other issue I’ve noticed, cutesy emails. What’s cutesy: sexybabydoll, momat21, hotlover, etc. Why is this a problem? Would you want a prospective employer to see you as a hotlover? Would you feel comfortable having an email being referred to a decision maker from hotlover?So, take the time out, to get an email that is professional. Use your initials, birthday, etc. It’s not only about connecting; but it’s also about, being taken seriously.

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